Neighborhood Friends – The Suburban Reality
“Neighborhood friends” is really a thing in the suburbs—and honestly, it’s one of the most ridiculous unwritten rules ever. When we first moved, I learned that impromptu playdates tended to happen only with kids in your same neighborhood.
Of course, kids also have friends outside their neighborhoods. Our school has kids from at least five different neighborhoods. But after school and on the weekends the kids tend to play with the neighborhood friends. Don’t even get me started about parents getting invited to get togethers only with other parents in the same neighborhood. After moving into this new neighborhood, we were welcomed with open arms, and invitations to get-togethers were plentiful, and at first, it felt great.
But as my son got older, things became tricky. He didn’t really vibe with the other boys. In our girl-heavy neighborhood, and that actually became a problem. On top of that, I noticed some big differences in parenting styles—and it showed in the kids’ behavior.
One day, my son even made a “friends list.” One boy he had known since kindergarten—whose mom I considered a friend—was crossed off. When I asked why, he said that when they hung out one-on-one, things were fine. But whenever another kid was around, his old friend ignored him. I saw it too, and I didn’t like it.
The breaking point came one day at the beach. I thought it would be a great chance for my son to have quality fun time with his friend. What I wasn’t told was that another kid would be coming along. My son tried to brush it off, but it was clear he felt left out. I was pissed at my friend. As a parent and a friend, a heads-up would have been simple.
Looking back, I realized this friend’s parenting style is very different from mine. She’s raising future rude jerks (excuse my bluntness). I am not perfect, but I am raising kind, polite, thoughtful kids.
So what did I do? I changed my circle. I started sticking with parents whose values align with mine. Because that’s what matters most—not the number of kids in your neighborhood, the invites, or even the perfect house. It’s the people you surround your family with.
And This Mom Right Here? She’s not just surviving the neighborhood drama—she’s curating a circle that reflects her values, where her kids can thrive, laugh, and make memories that actually matter.
